I tried…and tried…and still everything I do is always negative, one way or another..Is it upsetting? I’d be lying if I said no…Is it tiring? I can say yes, can’t I?

Something occurred just recently if that’s not obvious enough which makes me feel this way…Here’s the story…I planned a surprise birthday party for somebody special, and I planned and planned…it wasn’t easy, making sure things will go well, a lot of planning, a lot of worrying, I basically poured my whole heart and soul into this special birthday party. And on the D-day, yes a surprise was successful…and yet….here comes the catch…Apparently, according to this special person, I don’t like most of the friends, which happened to not be there on the surprise party, which was not entirely true..Yes, I’m not a big fan of some of his friends, I mean how can I be when they’re the kind of friends who offer him drugs..I planned this whole party so that the closest friends that are not always around can be there to enjoy this special day together with him..I didn’t want to invite the people he sees everyday, and will see every single day for months to come, people he will see and spend more time with on a daily basis…and yet somehow, this did not appear to be the ‘proper’ excuse..Oh no..according to him, the actual reason is..I hate his friends, and not only did he decide to tell his friends this, he also decided to tell his parents!! Now tell me…how am I suppose to feel? Not only that my efforts were not appreciated, now words are being put into my mouth, things that aren’t true, that never came out from me, and being publicly advertised…

Tired? Hurt? Sad? Taken for granted? Not appreciated? Hell Yes!!!

How hard is it to give a thank you and just say that you appreciate something, especially when you know that efforts have been put in something special? Why can’t something nice I’ve done be recognized and appreciated? Why can’t he think of my feelings for once before saying things like that? Is that really too much to ask? Why is it that something negative always have to pulled out of everything I do? Can anyone explain that? or is this one of those unexplained questions??

I welcome any general comments or critiques, as I am always learning and growing and I believe that there is no end to learning in this life..